Are You Underpaid? The Negotiation Readiness Check
Your employer expects you to negotiate. A CareerBuilder survey found 73% of U.S. employers say they would be willing to negotiate salary on an initial job offer. The first number is their opening position, not their final one. They have a range in mind. More than half of workers never ask.
The data on who does ask is clear. A 2023 Pew Research survey found only 28% of women asked for higher pay when last hired, compared to 32% of men. Of the women who did ask, 38% received only what had originally been offered. Men who asked were more likely to get something. Research by Hannah Riley Bowles shows women who negotiate assertively are often penalised socially for it, viewed as less likable than men doing the same.
This is not a small, one-time difference. McKinsey Global Institute estimates that over a 30-year career, women earn about $500,000 less than men on average. A significant portion of that gap traces back to not asking. In one study of Carnegie Mellon graduates, eight times as many men as women negotiated their starting salaries. By not negotiating a first salary, an individual stands to lose more than $500,000 by age 60. That loss compounds with every subsequent raise and promotion.
I have sat through my share of annual reviews. I have watched colleagues—usually men—state a number first. I have also accepted the first offer presented, telling myself it was fair enough. The research from Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever’s Women Don’t Ask suggests men initiate negotiations about four times as often as women. They also set salary expectations between 3% and 32% higher for the same jobs. The gap starts before anyone sits down at a table.
The solution lies in preparation, not personality. Research shows that when negotiators have objective salary information, gender differences in negotiation outcomes virtually disappear. The problem is often a data gap, not a confidence gap.
Eight questions. Under two minutes. You might not love the answer.
When was the last time you looked up the market rate for your job?
Do you know what salary range your company budgeted for your role?
Your last job offer came through. What did you do with the first number?
How do you feel when you think about asking for a raise?
If your boss offered to discuss a raise tomorrow, do you have a specific number in mind?
Do you know what people with your title earn at other companies?
Have you ever turned down a job offer because the salary wasn’t enough?
Has the worry that you’ll seem difficult ever stopped you from asking for more money?
Flying Blind
You’re negotiating without a map. You probably haven’t checked your market rate recently, and discussing compensation feels uncomfortable. Research shows that when negotiators have objective salary information, gender differences in outcomes virtually disappear. Without that data, you’re likely accepting first offers. Start by spending 15 minutes on Glassdoor or Levels.fyi to see what your role pays in your city.
Partially Prepared
You have some pieces in place. You might know roughly what you should earn, but lack a concrete number or the confidence to ask. Remember, 73% of employers expect to negotiate on initial offers, yet more than half of workers never ask. Pick one thing to do this week: either update your list of accomplishments or practise your pitch with a friend.
Fully Armed
You have the data and the mindset. You know your market worth, have a specific number in mind, and are ready to walk away if needed. Linda Babcock’s research found that by not negotiating a first salary, individuals can lose over $500,000 by age 60. Your next step: schedule that conversation with your manager, or update your CV and start looking.
What Your Result Means
Fully Armed means you know your market rate and your walk-away point. You have a BATNA—a Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement. This is the framework from Roger Fisher and William Ury’s Getting to Yes. Knowing it prevents you from accepting terms worse than your alternatives. Your result suggests you treat negotiation as a problem-solving exercise, not a confrontation. The cost of being here is typically time, not money—you might over-prepare. This week, write a script for what you will say if someone calls your bluff. Research confirms that about 85% of people who counter an offer get at least some of what they asked for. Your task is to be ready for the pushback.
Partially Prepared means you have some information, but you hesitate to use it. You likely know you are underpaid but fear the social cost of asking. Hannah Riley Bowles’s research shows women are often penalised for negotiating assertively, viewed as less likable. This is real, not in your head. The cost is incremental. You might get small raises but miss larger adjustments by not initiating. You land here because you have done half the work. This week, choose one data point to solidify. Open Glassdoor or Levels.fyi and write down the exact salary range for your title in your city. Information is the great equaliser; having it removes most of the gender negotiation gap.
Flying Blind means you avoid the conversation entirely. You may believe the first offer is the only offer, or you might not know what your role pays elsewhere. This matches the finding that 2.5 times more women than men feel “a great deal of apprehension” about negotiating. The cost is the compounding $500,000. This also connects to the ‘broken rung’—a structural gap where women are less likely to be promoted from entry level, locking in lower pay. You score here because you lack a reservation point—the minimum you would accept. Without it, you cannot define a Zone of Possible Agreement, so every offer seems final. This week, find out one thing: what was the salary range budgeted for your role when you were hired? If that is impossible, search for the public salary band for your position at one large competitor. Your only job is to get one number.
How to Move from Knowing to Asking
Spend thirty minutes on Glassdoor, Levels.fyi, and one industry salary survey. Do not just browse. Write down three numbers: your current salary, the market median for your role in your city, and the number you will accept as a walk-away point. The walk-away point is your BATNA. Research summarised by The Interview Guys shows that when negotiators have objective salary information, gender differences in negotiation outcomes virtually disappear. This is not motivational advice. It is a direct task.
Frame your request around shared goals, not personal desire. Hannah Riley Bowles’s research found that women who framed negotiations in terms of concern for organisational relationships reduced social backlash. This is called using relational accounts. Instead of “I need more money,” try “I want to ensure my compensation reflects the market rate for this role so I can stay focused on contributing to the team goals.” Practise saying it aloud once. It feels awkward because it is new, not because it is wrong.
Document your accomplishments in a simple list with dates and figures. Use a notes app or a spreadsheet. Note any time you saved money, increased efficiency, or received positive feedback. A 2017 CareerBuilder survey noted that 48% of workers fear an employer will decide not to hire them if they negotiate. Your list is evidence that you are worth the investment, not a list of demands. Bring it to the conversation.
Know what your employer already knows. Most initial offers have a 5-15% negotiation buffer built in. If they say the offer is final, it often is not. Prepare a single, polite counter. You can say, “I understand budget constraints. Is there any flexibility to reach [your target number]? I am very excited about the role.” According to the same CareerBuilder data, 73% of employers expect this. Silence after an offer is your disadvantage, not theirs.
If you are negotiating a new job, do not disclose your current salary. They will ask. You can say, “My focus is on the market rate for this role and the value I bring. I am looking for a range around [your target number].” This redirects the conversation to your research, not your history. Babcock and Laschever’s work shows women’s salary expectations are set lower before negotiations begin. Starting with your old salary locks in that deficit.
Practise the conversation with a friend who will not reassure you. Ask them to play the employer who says “this is our best and final offer.” Your goal is to say your prepared line once without apologising. Most negotiations end after one counter. Data shows the fear is often disproportionate to the actual risk. The Pew Research data shows that while fewer women ask, a majority of those who do still get some increase.
Calculate the lifetime cost of your current salary. Use an online compound interest calculator. Input your current salary, an average annual raise of 3%, and a 30-year timeline. Then change the starting salary by 7% (the average increase from negotiating). The difference is stark. This makes the abstract $500,000 figure personal.
Identify your BATNA concretely. Your Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement is not vague. It is a specific action: “If I don’t get this raise, I will apply to three jobs in the next month” or “I will take on freelance work.” Write it down. According to Fisher and Ury’s framework, a strong BATNA is your primary source of power in any negotiation.
Sources
Babcock, L. & Laschever, S. (2003). Women Don’t Ask: Negotiation and the Gender Divide. Princeton University Press.
https://press.princeton.edu/books/hardcover/9780691089409/women-dont-ask
Bowles, H.R., Babcock, L., & Lai, L. (2007). “Social incentives for gender differences in the propensity to initiate negotiations: Sometimes it does hurt to ask.” Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 103(1), 84–103.
Summary: https://www.pon.harvard.edu/daily/salary-negotiations/in-salary-negotiations-women-do-ask/
CareerBuilder. (2017). “More Than Half of Workers Do Not Negotiate Job Offers.”
https://resources.careerbuilder.com/news-research/73-of-employers-would-negotiate-salary-55-of-workers-don-t-ask
Fisher, R., Ury, W., & Patton, B. (2011). Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In (3rd ed.). Penguin Books.
McKinsey Global Institute. (2025). “Tough trade-offs: How time and career choices shape the gender pay gap.”
https://www.mckinsey.com/mgi/our-research/tough-trade-offs-how-time-and-career-choices-shape-the-gender-pay-gap
Pew Research Center. (2023). “When negotiating starting salaries, most U.S. women and men don’t ask for higher pay.”
https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/04/05/when-negotiating-starting-salaries-most-us-women-and-men-dont-ask-for-higher-pay/
